I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
