And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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