I'm drive I can fine osifer
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
