you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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