9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
