How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
