there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
