I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
