it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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