Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I still have a little drunk in my system
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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