Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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