"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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