How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
