Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
