You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
