She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize