I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
