forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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