Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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