There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
