We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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