ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
