Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
