I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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