Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
