I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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