is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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