New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
