It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
