For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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