My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
