Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
