member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
