Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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