yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
