I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize