I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
