I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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