a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have already put on my inside pants.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
