mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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