Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
