He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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