i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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