It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
