never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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