why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so let's talk penis.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
