What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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