Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
