Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
How's work?
Spinning.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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