It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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