So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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