shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
