Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize