i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
