My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
