last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
