is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
