i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize