i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
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My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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