i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
