you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
