It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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