so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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