You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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