He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
