I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
