kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
