they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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