She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
