Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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