Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
