Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
