I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
